Get Schniffyy

It is my honour today to bring you a story by Berger Luckmann, a very experienced MTU hunter and elite PvPer who has had his fair share of experiences over the years. If Berger’s name looks familiar to you, you might remember him from NS&CD 2.

A Tale of Two Magpies

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. A young capsuleer by the name of Schniffyy believed he deserved the best. To be fair to Schniffyy, he could also afford to have the best! The young capsuleer liked his MTUs flashy. Unfortunately, carebearing in High Sec rotted our dear friend’s brain. Mr Schniffyy kept forgetting to scoop his fancy MTUs. I found the first faint traces of his trail about 3 or four days ago:

Schniffyy killmail - Berger Luckmann

Kill: Schniffyy (‘Magpie’ Mobile Tractor Unit)

This took a lot of dedication, and I had to outfit a scanner-strength-tanked Imicus specifically for that. The scanner tanked Imicus, however, became of use once again!

Kill: Schniffyy (‘Magpie’ Mobile Tractor Unit)

I found his filthy garbage wrapped in 400 million isk of gold foil once again! I became curious to say the least.

Both times, I naturally sent him an invoice. However, suspecting there will surely be a third time, I offered that he send me 400 million isk next time he thinks of buying a Magpie MTU. To my complete and utter disappointment, I was not given the gift of 400 million isk. I was, however, given so much more!

On my usual patrol of my home system, I saw a beautiful sight. Lo! There! In the distance! On my d-scan! “Schniffy’s Rattlesnake!” “This is the time for a long overdue conversation” I thought to myself as I scanned down his mission site. I packed my salvage drones. I packed my trusty Nergal. I undocked in search of understanding.

Unfortunately, Schniffyy did not realize I was there to talk to him about his Magpie addiction. Unfortunately, Schniffyy did not take nicely to my presence. Unfortunately, Schniffyy shot a suspect Nergal in high sec.

Now, I like Rattlesnakes. I will never fly one seriously, because I dislike watching my ships align only to stare at them warp, but I like Rattlesnakes. I did not want to blow it up! I did not like being in that position. And then I saw it – a capsule here, a Rattlesnake there! Schniffyy’s Rattlesnake now sat alone in space, cold, unoccupied, a pod warping away, saving a set of likely very fancy implants!

What could I do but give the ship a new home? What could I do but park it in my hangar? Could I bring myself to leave it’s crew to rot? I couldn’t.

I would have been ecstatic, had I been able to report to you that the Rattlesnake contained another Magpie. Alas! Some stories have good endings that are not as poetic as one would like them to be. Alas! I was unable to talk to Schniffyy about his addiction.

I hope the tale continues, as I am sure, does Schniffyy, who threatened to war dec Hell Dawn over the loss of his precious Magpies and the Rattlesnake. I hope also that Hell Dawn will be able to come to some arrangement with Schniffyy’s corporation. I do not want my wreckless ways to start a war.

I offer you my good wishes,
Berger Luckmann

Thank you very much for this charming tale, Berger. Liberating two Magpies and a Battleship from the same pilot is not something you see every day, wonderful!

That’s all for this post, if you have any interesting stories you’d like to share, please send them to me (Pix Severus) via EVEmail, or drop a comment on this post.

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